~and the prestigious 'Mommy" award goes to the birthday girl...~

In forty-nine years of living this so-called life, I feel I am just beginning to really recognize the truly valuable and distinguish it from the simulated mimicry the ego mind busily bombards the thought-field with. Today is my birthday. In moments like now, I can only see the student in me.

It has taken nearly half a century to get there~ to the beginning of living. I spent the youngish-half of my adulthood teaching what I didn’t know, until I learned I didn’t know, and then realized that was square one: the only place from which I had a chance at any wisdom at all.

Motherhood is the course the universe offers for the souls who have a tendency to under-value and over-think themselves.

Here’ the story of motherhood curriculum in action…

It was coming up on sunrise, following another night rocking and nursing and comforting my infant son Lucas. I was simply cradling and nursing; tracing his perfect little features with my fingertips, memorizing each detail, overwhelmed with perfection and love, indelibly imprinting it in my mind.

I remember noticing in my peripheral vision that the sun was coming up over the mountain in the east. A new day dawning, as too, was a fresh view of my Self and motherhood, in a single miracle of total acceptance and gratitude. I was vaguely aware I was inside a miracle; part of something grand and infinite, resting in a sense of timeless now-ness, completeness.

I watched his tiny fingers reaching, touching, exploring their source of nurturing, cradled in love; as in my heart-mind with its tiny fingers explored the possibilities of endless Source… I was in awe. Still am. Never understood how someone as bent on a ‘get-it-right’ life, could still for moment and experience ‘enough’ in full-blown gratitude…

I can’t tell you how much, when I began my ‘spiritual journey’, I would draw from these miracle moments of nursing and awakening~ to give hope when I felt hopeless~ to surrender when the war-against myself was too much~ when the meaning of gratitude eluded me.

My birthday and Mother’s Day always fall right next to each other, if not on the same day. Duh! God-clue that motherhood’s my curriculum and paves the path to heaven…